Our first real holiday (Pt 3 "Don't touch me!")

Although we’d been lazing on the beach most of the afternoon, we were both a little tired from the journey and the early 5 am start.
We had a light dinner and went out to a pub we’d been to on our previous visit. Iris said she was feeling a little hot round her upper arms and shoulders and opted to wear a light sun-top. The pub was called the Meadow House Hotel and was on the English side of the border. Mine host was a jovial character, Peter Elliot, but known to all and sundry as Jock! He was a man who had been around quite a lot and had a fund of yarns to spin. There was a bell on the bar; every week, he would take it down and polish it. Occasionally, the clapper would strike the side of the bell accidentally. That was the only time anyone would ever hear it ring! Over the years we became very good friends and many a time we would walk, sorry, stagger, out of the pub in blazing sunlight early in the morning.
The first night we went in, we sat and had a quiet drink and chatted to some locals who made us feel very welcome. It wasn’t the sort of pub that tourists or holidaymakers went for but we liked the place from the start.
Around midnight, we were just about dropping so we left the pub and walked back. The caravan was within easy walking distance so we could have a decent drink without having to take the car. I remember Iris saying how she enjoyed the cool night air as we walked back.
Iris was ready for bed and I joined her later after a last cigarette. I was feeling quite romantic and I was looking forward to a cosy night of nookie. I slid in between the sheets and reached out for Iris. She gave a wild shriek and cried “Don’t touch me, I’m burning up!” I saw that her shoulders were raw from the sunburn. She had left it too late with the sun-tan oil! I resigned myself to a celibate night; there was no other option! Fortunately, with the aid of calomine lotion, (who still uses that, these days?) her shoulders lost the burning sensation and a couple of days later, she started to develop a gorgeous tan.