Friday, March 09, 2007

"I want your baby!"

The second year of our relationship was looking good. We were settling down to a steady life-style with very few clouds on the horizon. We shared common interests in going to clubs, travel, visiting and receiving friends, etc. We both loved to entertain our friends at home and Iris was becoming quite an expert in the kitchen.
One evening as we were watching some trivial TV programme, Iris, who was snuggling up beside me, dropped a bombshell… She said, “Graeme, could we start a family?”
I didn’t know what the hell to say to that! I had never dreamed that Iris wanted anything other than a close, loving partnership. She had accepted the fact that I was married and had three children to think about but this was a bolt from the blue!
I asked her if she was sure about it and she gave a wry little grin and said, “Graeme, it’s just that I love you so very much, I want part of you that I can keep forever.”
I felt very humble, knowing that Iris loved me enough to want my child. At the same time, I was practical enough to realise it could only be a dream. Iris was now 35 and I was 39 and already had a son and two daughters. I said that we should think about it very carefully.
If I hadn’t been married, I would have loved to have had children by her. I would have married her as soon as I realised she loved me.
Iris was staring into the fire, watching the flames licking the coals as they burned. She said, “Am I being silly?” I told her that she wasn’t being silly at all and I felt honoured that she should want to bear my child. She replied that she had merely voiced a daydream but in her heart, knew it was a non-starter. I asked her how long she had been thinking of this. She told me it was just something she would have loved but realised it was both impossible and impractical.
Iris said, “I know you love me and that’s enough.” I reached over and hugged her as she lay in my arms on the settee. At the same time, I felt torn apart as this was the very first thing she wanted that I couldn’t give her.
How I wish I’d met her fifteen years earlier! It sounds so selfish, I know, but that was how I felt. I loved her so very, very much!

1 comment:

Carla said...

You couldn't have loved her any more than you did. I know that Iris knew it too.