Friday, June 15, 2007

Oi… Wot about me???

Hi folks, I’m Tiffi
For the past twelve years, I’ve looked after Graeme and Barbara. I’ve always let them share my home and I have tried to make their friends welcome whenever they call round.
Sometimes,
it hasn’t been easy. I’m expected to be picked up and dumped on some stranger’s knee while they make stupid cooing noises at me and tickling me under my chin! I’m also expected to chase my ass off jumping up and down for a piece of string or playing hide-and-seek under a chair.
When visitors bring their little brats with them, I have to suffer the indignities of having my tail pulled, being wrapped up in a
scarf or put in a dolls’ pram.
A few days ago, I heard that there is another cat coming to share my
home. This is a very young kitten and I suppose it will be spoilt bloody rotten! I can just see it now; saucers of flaked chicken, special goats’ milk, a comfy little basket and endless silly baby-talk like “Oosaboofuls?” and “Gizzakiss.” It’s enough to make you puke!

I know exactly what will happen; the little pest will start clambering all over me thinking I’m its mum and expecting to be washed and groomed every few minutes. Anyway, this little pillock isn’t going to think it can do what it likes.
I’ll still expect my bit of space on the hearthrug and I don’t want the little horror trying to climb upstairs to sleep on my corner of Graeme’s bed. Furthermore, my usual place on the top of his printer is sacrosanct when I want to watch him on his computer. However, I presume I’ll have to make a few concessions but I’m still gonna be the boss and that’s that!
Gawwddd… It’s enough to send a cat out on the tiles all bloody night!

4 comments:

Sid Williamson said...

Nice cat.

Anonymous said...

Site looks great in the new colours. *thumbs up*
JiB

Graeme said...

Thanks for your appreciation, Anon but I don't think it's finished yet!

odinsgal88 said...

Tiffi - You should tell your owner to search out some books by a Yorkshire author called Deric Longden - specifically "Enough to make a Cat Laugh", "The Cat who came in from the Cold", "Paws in the Proceedings" and "A Play on Words".

Deric knows how to treat his cats and he also knows what his cats are saying, elaborately transcribing it for the reader in his books. I have never laughed so much at any author as I have at Thermal, Tigger, Frink and Nokia.

His other works are also excellent, but not particularly cat related.